Thirteenth Stage: Fatherhood (1 Corinthians 4:14-16)

Theme: The LORD makes you a father of many.

The Apostle Paul said: “I am writing you this not to shame you, but to admonish you as my beloved children. Even if you should have countless guides to Christ, yet you do not have many fathers, for I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. Therefore, I urge you, be imitators of me.

Let us meditate on how we completed our mission on earth and how we became fathers or mothers who bore a lot of people for the Kingdom of Heaven.  This is the Life to the Full.  It is to become a father or a mother who bears children for the Kingdom of God.

Let us pray for every person on earth, so that he/she takes this way in order to reach the Life to the Full.  May the will of God be fulfilled in each one of us. Amen.


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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you retire to the moment you go to eternal life.

 God knows the length of this stage.

 In this stage, you are a father to many people.

 Meditations: John

 After the Father stage, you go to eternal life.

4th-5th-6th Stage = Exodus (Passover) Jewish

8th-9th-10th Stage = Cross   (Easter)   Christian 

Twelfth Stage: The Mission (Acts 2)

Theme: The LORD sends you.

When the time for Pentecost was fulfilled, the disciples of the LORD Jesus were all in one place together. And suddenly there came from the sky a noise like a strong driving wind, and it filled the entire house in which they were. Then there appeared to them tongues as of fire, which parted and came to rest on each one of them. And they were all filled with the holy Spirit and began to speak in different tongues, as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim. Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice, and proclaimed to them, “You who are Jews, indeed all of you staying in Jerusalem. Let this be known to you, and listen to my words. Jesus of Nazareth was a man commended to you by God with mighty deeds, wonders, and signs, which God worked through him in your midst, as you yourselves know. This man, delivered up by the set plan and foreknowledge of God, you killed, using lawless men to crucify him. But God raised him up, releasing him from the throes of death, because it was impossible for him to be held by it.

Therefore let the whole house of Israel know for certain that God has made him both Lord and Messiah, this Jesus whom you crucified.”

Now when they heard this, they were cut to the heart, and they asked Peter and the other apostles, "What are we to do, my brothers?" Peter said to them, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is made to you and to your children and to all those far off, whomever the Lord our God will call.”

Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand persons were added that day.

Let us meditate on how the LORD sent us to proclaim the Good News to the whole world, and to be witnesses of God’s love and mercy through the Word of God and our example.

Let us pray for all evangelizers in the four parts of the world, so that they may be consoled by the Holy Spirit in the midst of persecutions, oppositions, and sufferings they face for the sake of evangelization.

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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you receive the Holy Spirit to the moment you rest in the Lord.

 The length of this stage depends from one person to another. Some people experience Follow Me for more than 30 years others for less than 5 years. All people experience the end of “The Resurrection”  with retirement (or martyrdom).

 In this stage, you are on the mission.

graces through me to people

conversions

 Meditations: John

 After the Mission stage, you will rest.

Eleventh Stage: Resurrection (John 21:15-19)

Theme: The LORD anoints you.

After Resurrection, the LORD Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He then said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”

Let us meditate on our long journey with the LORD, in which He called us, brought us out of slavery, purified us, gave us His commandments, forgave us, and taught us how to deny self, take up our crosses, and follow Him.  After this long journey from slavery to freedom, in which we passed through the desert and took up the cross, the light of resurrection finally shines upon our lives. The LORD now anoints us and calls us to feed his sheep and to help others to bring them out from death to life.

Let us pray for all priests, fathers, mothers, and every responsible person, so that the LORD may bless them and help them complete their task in bringing others to salvation.


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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you receive an amazing grace from God to the moment you experience Pentecost in your life.

 The length of this stage depends from one person to another. Some people experience Follow Me for more than 5 years others for less than 2 years. All people experience the end of “The Resurrection”  with the descent of the Holy Spirit.

 In this stage, Christ asks you frequently: “Do you love me?”

 Do you love me?

 Meditations: John

 After a period of honeymoon with the Lord, you will experience the beginning of a new stage: “Pentecost”.

Tenth Stage: Follow Me (Mark 8:31-38)

Theme: The LORD teaches you to follow Him.

Jesus began to teach the disciples that the Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and rise after three days.

He spoke this openly. Then Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. At this he turned around and, looking at his disciples, rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.”

He summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them, "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.

Let us meditate on how the LORD taught us that following Him does not mean ideas or appearances, but it means living the gospel and incarnating the Word of God in our lives, even when we have to experience the holy and painful way of the cross.  All of this is impossible without faith in the Real Presence of Christ among us.

Let us pray for all those who are burdened by their crosses, so that they may look at the living LORD and move on.

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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you try to convert others to the moment you experience the resurrection of Christ in your life.

 The length of this stage depends from one person to another. Some people experience Follow Me for more than 2 years others for less than 1 year. All people experience the end of “Follow Me”  with an amazing grace that will change everything.

 In this stage, Christ teaches you to follow Him.

 Man learns how to follow Jesus:

 Man denies the Lord for the third time:

 Meditations: John

 After learning how to deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus, you will experience the beginning of a new stage: “The Resurrection”.

Ninth Stage: Take up your Cross (Matthew 10:37-39)

Theme: The LORD teaches you to take up your cross.

The LORD Jesus said: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Let us meditate on how the LORD Jesus taught us that taking up the cross does not mean to search for pain or inflict our bodies with sufferings. It is not to live in sadness or continual depression. Instead, taking up the cross is to resist temptations, to sin no more and to accept the pain that resulted from original sin, our personal sin and social sin. We consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us.

Let us pray for all those who suffer from physical, psychological or spiritual pain, so that the LORD may console them and heal them.

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For Spiritual Direction

 This stage goes from the moment you rebel against “Conversion” stage to the moment you try to convert others.

 The length of this stage depends from one person to another. Some people experience Take up your Cross for more than 2 years others for less than 1 year. All people experience the end of “Take up your Cross”  with an urge to convert others.

 In this stage, Christ teaches you to take up your cross.

Man learns how to take up his cross:

Man denies the Lord for the second time:

Meditations: John

Trying to convert others will lead you to the next stage: “Follow Me”.

Eighth Stage: Deny Yourself (Luke 9:57-62)

 Theme: The LORD teaches you to deny yourself.

As the disciples were proceeding on their journey someone said to Jesus, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus answered him, “Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head.”

And to another Jesus said, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, let me go first and bury my father.” But he answered him, “Let the dead bury their dead. But you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” And another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but first let me say farewell to my family at home.” To him Jesus said, “No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God.”

Let us meditate on how Jesus taught us that denying self is not to hate ourself or to disregard our lifve, but rather, it is to get away from anything that can hurt this self and destroy this life like addictions or unhealthy relationships that become an obstacle to our holiness.

Let us pray for all those who walk on this journey to heaven, so that they may be able to discern between what hurts their self and what helps it to reach perfection.

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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you make your first try to stay in the “Conversion” stage to the moment you rebel at the “Conversion” stage.

 The length of this stage depends from one person to another. Some people experience Deny Yourself for more than 2 years others for less than 1 year. All people experience the end of “Deny yourself”  with a painful detachment from the “Conversion” stage.

 In this stage, Christ teaches you to deny yourself.

 Man learns how to deny himself:

 Man denies the Lord for the first time:

 Meditations: John

 The rebellion against “Conversion” stage will lead you to the next stage: “Take up your Cross”.

Seventh Stage: Conversion (Matthew 3, Luke 7:36-50)

Theme: The LORD forgives you.

“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!”
Now there was a sinful woman in the city came and stood behind Jesus at his feet weeping and began to bathe his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them, and anointed them with the ointment. The LORD Jesus said to her: 

“Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Let us meditate on when we completely surrendered to Christ through a general confession or a sincere surrender; how we were able to get out of our Old Testament (the period of laws), and enter the New Testament (the period of love)  and how we discovered our true identity as sinners loved by God.

Let us pray for all those burdened, so that they may approach Jesus and surrender completely to Him.

_____________________________
For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you surrender to God to the moment you are left alone to learn how to deny yourself.

 The length of this stage depends from one person to another. Some people experience Conversion for more than 2 years others for less than 8 months. All people experience the end of “Conversion” stage at the moment they are tested with denying self.

 In this stage, God reveals his beautiful face in Jesus Christ. Christ becomes more alive than anytime in the past. You stay at His feet learning and questioning.

Man decides to surrender to God:

 I want to find myself

 I want Jesus to be my hero: Not me, not my fantasies, not illusions.

 I am desiring to know Jesus

 I am at the back of the race, this is why I need Spiritual Direction.

 Man experiences God’s mercy:

 General Confession

 Joy & relief

 rejoiced

 Man remains at the feet of Christ learning:

 “What do you want?”

 I am doing the right thing

 Why did God do all that (past stages)? For healing.

 Who am I?

 What do I do with my life?

 I have a desire to affect people’s lives

 Meditations: John

                       Deut 8, 9

 the first try you make to stay in this stage “Conversion” will lead you to the next stage: “Deny Yourself”.

Sixth Stage: Mount Sinai (Exodus 19-20, 32)

Theme: The LORD gives you His Commandments.

They came to the desert of Sinai. They were encamped in front of the mountain. The Lord spoke and gave them the Ten Commandments. The people of God saw peals of thunder and lightning, and a heavy cloud over the mountain, and a very loud trumpet blast. All the people in the camp trembled. When they became aware of Moses' delay in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said to him, "Come, make us a god who will be our leader; as for the man Moses who brought us out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has happened to him."
All the people took off their earrings and brought them to Aaron. They made a golden calf and they cried out, "This is your God, O Israel, who brought you out of the land of Egypt."

As Moses drew near the camp, he saw the calf and the dancing. With that, Moses' wrath flared up, so that he fused the calf in the fire and then ground it down to powder, which he scattered on the water and made the people drink. Moses said to them: “You have committed a grave sin.” Then, he said to the LORD: “I cannot carry all this people by myself, for they are too heavy for me.”

Then the LORD said to Moses, "Assemble for me seventy of the elders of Israel. They may share the burden of the people with you. You will then not have to bear it by yourself.

Let us meditate on when we experienced our own betrayal of the LORD, who brought us out of slavery; how we could not fight anymore by ourselves; how we were overburdened and how we realized our need for the Savior.

Let us pray for all those tempted by betrayals and sins, so that we may be merciful to them and console them.

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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you betray your God to the moment you surrender to God.

 The length of this stage depends from one person to another. Some people experience Mount Sinai for more than 5 years others for less than one year. All people experience the end of “Mount Sinai” stage at the moment they surrender to God.

 In this stage, you experience your own betrayal. You began to search for the foundation on which you can build your spiritual life. The soul finds no other way than to surrender to God.

  Before Betrayal:

 I can’t approach the Lord unless I become a man.

 Intense conflict with wife/husband.

 I wasn’t hearing the Lord.

 I couldn’t feel direction coming from the Lord.

 I didn’t surrender to God because I had a fear he would ask me more than I could bear.

 Felt numb, like I was in a desert.

 Man experiences betrayals:

 hard temptations

 Infatuation, erotic fantasies, guilt, obsession about someone

 I felt betrayed: the husband/wife cheated on me

 I was devastated by the betrayal

 I surrendered to fantasies

 Betrayed the Lord.

 Feel manipulated.

 After Betrayal:

 I want to escape.

 I feel big failure.

 Mourning, grieving, shame.

 Feel ready to die.

 Get me out of the desert or kill me.

 I feel dead because I am in a tunnel.

 I am messed up emotionally.

 I want to end up my life. It’s hell.

 I gave up trying to be holy.

 I need someone to shoot me.

 Lost everything.

 I saw my sins (pride, not asking people for help).

 humbling, devastating experience.

 what have I done?

 Have I done something terrible?

 I need freedom from past.

 He’s calling me to do something.

 I need to surrender Lord.

 I am trying to re-establish the Lord in the center of my life”

 “I thought I was the problem”

 daily rosary

 loneliness

 What do you want God?

 Get out of religious life.

 My God, why have you abandoned me?

 Where God was?

 What was God doing?

 Had I sinned?

 I wonder why things happened?

 I feel I have a curse on me.

 Sort of numb inside.

 Fearful that others would find out that I am a failure.

 I need to get out of here.

 My life will be short.

 Mad at God.

 My mind is too small to solve this problem.

 Fear of being vulnerable to others.

 Man searches & wait for Christ:

 Am I wasting my gifts? or am I following God’s will?

 Am I losing my vocation? or am I doing what God wants?

 I thought I could do it on my own.

 I want to follow Jesus but I don’t know where.

 Where do I fit in?

 What do I do with my gifts?

 Why didn’t I have better training in life?

 I need to talk to a logical man.

 I need to talk to a calm man.

 Gave up being a man.

 I want to give Jesus back his throne in my life.

 Decision to surrender to Jesus.

 I need to surrender: my business, my sex life, my wife, ...

 I want to surrender because what can I offer the Lord?

 Lord, do what you want.

I can't fight alone anymore.

 Meditations: Exodus chapter 19, 20, 32, 33, 34

 Surrendering to God at the end of “Mount Sinai” period will lead you to the next stage: “Conversion”.

Fifth Stage: The Desert of Shur (Exodus 15:22-25)

Theme: The LORD purifies you.

After traveling for three days through the desert without finding water, they arrived at Marah, where they could not drink the water, because it was too bitter. Hence this place was called Marah. As the people grumbled against Moses, saying, "What are we to drink?" he appealed to the LORD, who pointed out to him a certain piece of wood. When he threw this into the water, the water became fresh. It was here that the LORD, in making rules and regulations for them, put them to the test.

It was in this desert where God gave His people bread from heaven to eat.

Let us meditate on when we experienced spiritual dryness and its difficulty, and how we could not imagine God, or feel his presence in our lives.  It was a desert void of human and divine existence.

Let us pray for all those who live in spiritual dryness, so that they might not be afraid and give up, but that they would continue the way because the greater the dryness is in this stage, the more fruits you will bear in the next stages.

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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you proclaim your first victory, passing through a terrible dryness, to the moment you betray your God.

 The length of this stage depends from one person to another. Some people experience the Desert of Shur for more than 10 years others for less than two years. Usually, this stage lasts more than one year. All people experience the end of “The Desert of Shur” stage at the moment they betray the God who called them in “the Burning Bush”.

 In this stage, you experience God’s absent Presence, dryness, questions without answers. God remains a priority. The soul experiences horror and great fear: “Am I on the right track?”

  

 Man experiences dryness & the absence of God:

 much more difficult- rarely found comfort- dry, very dry- no fire- Hard time functioning- Am I on the right track?- Am I with the Lord?- Where am I going?- Where is the peace that He promised?- What else I can be involved in?- trying to be holy- life getting worse- How can I take care of the family?- moving to different places

 Man experiences healing:

 therapy (physical, psychological)- trying to be healed- I broke up and cried- a lot of healing (childhood, father, God’s love)

 Man experiences forgiveness:

 Man’s behavior & feelings:

 withdrawal- following rules- running on my own- inward attachments- fighting, yelling, misinterpreted, jumping to conclusions- If I worked more, I might have succeeded- I didn’t have the sense that God was pleased in my work- hang on to resentments- hurt by remarks- I did not want to lose- Voice: “you will never win”- providence for a few years- give me my daily bread- my manhood has been taken from me- no children- “I was doing too much”- “Lord, I’m having a bad day, I want you to be with me.- Lord, I’m gonna have to rely on you- I need your help- Daily Mass- Psalm 18 (the promise of the Lord)- God show me what you want me to do-

 Meditations: Exodus 15:22-27 + Exodus 16-17

 Betraying God at the end of “the Desert of Shur” period will lead you to the next stage: “Mount Sinai”.

Fourth Stage: The Sea of Reeds (Exodus 14)

Theme: The LORD brings you out.

So obstinate had the LORD made Pharaoh that he pursued the people of God even while they were marching away in triumph. The Egyptians, then, pursued them; Pharaoh's whole army, his horses, chariots and charioteers, caught up with them as they lay encamped by the sea. The people of God looked up and saw that the Egyptians were on the march in pursuit of them. In great fright they cried out to the LORD. And they complained to Moses, "Were there no burial places in Egypt that you had to bring us out here to die in the desert? Why did you do this to us? Why did you bring us out of Egypt? Did we not tell you this in Egypt, when we said, 'Leave us alone. Let us serve the Egyptians'? Far better for us to be the slaves of the Egyptians than to die in the desert." But Moses answered the people, "Fear not! Stand your ground, and you will see the victory the LORD will win for you today. These Egyptians whom you see today you will never see again. The LORD himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still." Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the LORD swept the sea with a strong east wind throughout the night and so turned it into dry land. When the water was thus divided, the people of God marched into the midst of the sea on dry land, with the water like a wall to their right and to their left. The Egyptians followed in pursuit; all Pharaoh's horses and chariots and charioteers went after them right into the midst of the sea. As the water flowed back, it covered the chariots and the charioteers of Pharaoh's whole army which had followed the people of God into the sea. Not a single one of them escaped.

Let us meditate on when we got out of our old condition and how the shadows of the past followed us, trying to bring us back into slavery. But, because of our confidence in God, we were able to overcome the temptations of the flesh, the devil, and the world.

Let us pray for all beginners in the spiritual life so they might not fall into despair and give up the choice of holiness at the first temptation.


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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you respond to God’s call, passing through a darkness, to the moment you experience the first victory.

The length of this stage depends from one person to another. Some people experience the Desert of the sea of reeds for more than 10 years others for less than two years. Usually, this stage lasts more than one year. All people experience the end of “The Desert of the Sea of Reeds” stage at the moment they move to a different environment or position.

 In this stage, you experience God’s absent Presence. God remains a priority. You experience His graces on a regular basis (monthly). The soul searches with all her strength perfection, holiness. The soul wants to satisfy God.

 Man responds to God’s call:

 great zeal for holiness- got married- involved and active in the Church- joined the Church (Baptism, confirmation, Eucharist)- joined a community- joined religious life- search for vocation- I am looking for something else- There’s no way I can put someone before God- desire to holiness- desire to be with Jesus- difficult to be in the world- I want to be with him sitting at His feet with nothing else to distract me- joined men’s group-

 Man experiences God’s providence:

 related to the Father in heaven rather than to Jesus- God is trying to make eye contact with me but I turn my face- God wants me to go deeper- trying to be spiritual- I want to be a man, responsible- Didn’t see anything else but God- discovering the truth- bringing people to the Church- searching more- no drugs, no abuse- trying to be obedient- counselor for 3 years- spiritual guidance- psychological counseling-

 Man experiences the shadows of his past:

 unsettled feelings- felt trapped- panicked- never talked about hurt- fear of letting people see his/her darkness- does not confront people- fear of getting fired- emotional breakdown- anxiety attacks- struggling with how am I a sinner?-  slowly getting worse after financial problems- God is hidden sometimes- I’m afraid where to go- on pills, depressed- fears of intimacy- a lot of fights- anger & hatred towards men/women started coming up- got frigid- I would see other people prospering, I don’t understand- felt failure- Why can’t I get things right?- lost the house- like going to the wilderness- fear of not finding a job- I did not want to do anything- laziness- refusing to do a job because it’s hard- I can never be successful- I can never make it in the world- conflicts with priests-

 Man experiences a great victory:

 healing with father- confronting the abuser, forgave him- I wanted to move-

 Proclaiming the victory at the end of “the Desert of the Sea of Reeds” period will lead you to the next stage: “The desert of Shur”.

Third Stage: The Burning Bush (Exodus 3:1-12)

Theme: The LORD calls you.

The angel of the LORD appeared to Moses in fire flaming out of a bush. As he looked on, he was surprised to see that the bush, though on fire, was not consumed. So Moses decided, "I must go over to look at this remarkable sight, and see why the bush is not burned." When the LORD saw him coming over to look at it more closely, God called out to him from the bush, "Moses! Moses!" He answered, "Here I am." God said, "Come no nearer! Remove the sandals from your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground. I am the God of your father," he continued, "the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob." Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God. But the LORD said, "I have witnessed the affliction of my people in Egypt and have heard their cry of complaint against their slave drivers, so I know well what they are suffering. Therefore I have come down to rescue them from the hands of the Egyptians and lead them out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey. So indeed the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have truly noted that the Egyptians are oppressing them. Come, now! I will send you to Pharaoh to lead my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt.

Let us meditate on when we cried out to God and how He looked at us, loved us, and called us to get out of our past and move towards the future; from darkness to light; from death to life; from slavery to freedom.

Let us meditate on how our hearts were set on fire; how God instilled within us the desire to follow Him; and how we saw His signs and experienced His powerful presence.

Let us pray for all those called to consecrated life or to married life, for all those whose hearts are on fire to follow the Lord, so that they may find the proper place to sanctify their lives.  


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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you cried out to God to the moment you follow God’s call.

 The length of this stage depends from one person to another. Some people experience the Burning Bush for 3 years others for a few months. Usually, this stage does not last more than 4 years. All people experience the end of “The Burning Bush” stage at the moment they respond to God’s call.

 In this stage, you experience God’s Presence in a powerful way. God is a priority. For the first time, God became personal. He is no more distant.

A cry for help:

 - voices saying, “you’re not gonna make it, you’re doomed.” felt scared, crying, sobbing.

 - started going to Mass

 - I can’t do this anymore. you take my heart because I can’t protect it.

 - crying to the Lord and he was there: you have 2 ways: 1- suicide = your way

                                                                                  2- life = God’s way.

 - prayed the Rosary, felt the presence of God

 - cried out to God

 - please God help me: “I’m sorry for what I have done. I won’t do it again.”

 - I walked out of that place: “I’ll never come back again.”

 - I needed to be in Church. Send me teachers.

 - “If you really exist, I need to know now.”

 - “I am looking for Jesus and I believe you can help me.”

 - Jesus if you’re real come into my heart and make me happy.

 - the need to be healed, to find peace. couldn’t show emotions only anger. didn’t express feelings. couldn’t cry for many years.

God’s powerful Presence:

 - baptism in the Spirit.

 - do you wanna be happy? yes I want to be happy

 - felt hot, cried, so beautiful. I was sobbing, Jesus loves me.

 - my heart began to stir within me.

 - experienced peace, love, cried, wept, God is here.

 - a man prayed over me.

 - read the Bible, presence of God, refreshed, quit drugs

 - invited to a community, touched by the music (choir)

 - dialogue with God. God is real, met Jesus, felt all her guilt

 - “why we don’t go to Church?”

 - evangelization on TV. big turning point, a couple tried to evangelize her.

 - meeting with a group, met a Christian woman/man

 - vision of Jesus. A homily struck her. “I found the Lord.”

 God’s call:

 “follow me wherever I lead you”.

 - God told me he wants me to live with you.

 - what to do? how can I enter the Kingdom of Heaven?

 - healed of anger, quit drugs, first time talked about abuse

 - a decision: “I don’t want to do sex with other men.”

 - joined a community, get married, searching for a church where people are on fire.

 - “Lord put me where you want me to be.”

 - hope

 - I am calling you to be a priest

 - I want to be Catholic.

 - started looking for people practicing Catholicism.

 - read a lot about God, tapes, books

 - I want to repay for all the wrong I had done

 - “to trust me is to love me. Come follow me.”

 - use me Lord in a profound way to lead others to you

 - Ephesians 4:23

 - a call to bring many people to Jesus

 - desires to holiness, sainthood.

 Man’s response:

I need to be set free- I need to get out- I need to find him- I desire freedom from this bondage- felt like inside a cage and can’t get out- 

Second Stage: Slavery (Exodus 2:23)

Theme: The LORD hears your cry.

The people of God groaned and cried out because of their slavery in Egypt. As their cry for release went up to God, he heard their groaning and was mindful of his covenant with the Fathers.

Let us meditate on the time when God was not a priority in our lives; how we lived in slavery:  Slavery to our passions, selfishness, bad habits, addictions, loneliness, desperation, depression, fears, and needs.

At the end, we groaned and cried out because of our slavery. Our cry went up to God and God heard our cry for help.

Let us pray for all who suffer in slavery, for those bound by difficulties and sins, so that they might come back and take refuge in God and cry out to him from the depths of their hearts.  He is the only one who can free them.


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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you place the world and its passions as a priority to God to the moment when you cry out to God.

 The length of this stage depends from one person to the other. Some people experience Egypt in 5 years. Others experienced it for ten or twenty years. Others die in this period. They die in their sins. All people experience the end of “Egypt” stage at the moment they cry out to God.

 In this stage, you follow your own way. God is no more a priority.

  

You experience oppression from every side:

 Behavior:

 - Drinking alcohol, purging, self mutilation, cutting self, one night stands, out to bars, suicidal thoughts, perfectionist, anti-depressant, emotional problems, touching minors, abusing pills, deep depression, gaining weight, cried all the time.

 - shy, no friends, always alone, to the extreme, passive, non assertive, rules, scrupulosity.

 - drugs, alcohol, parties, promiscuity with more than 15 men, marijuana, pot, crack, heroine, cocaine, crystal tea.

 - masturbation, molested, boyfriend, girlfriend, homosexuality, boy’s touch, sexual abuse, voyeurism, exhibitionism, pornography, fantasies to see girls naked, lost virginity, goes out with people kissing, sex with friends, sexually active, abused by therapist, abused by clergy, abused by counselor, abused by father, abused by neighbor.

 - gambling, rebellion, God is no more priority, anger, conflicts with authority, rejecting rules, left the Church, stealing, loss of someone, follow own ways, thoughts, earthly desires, away from the Church, divorce, beaten up by friends, no faith, rape, addictions, bad habits, loneliness, money, hatred, seduction, cheating, pleasure, having an affair with a married man, oppressed by sin, attached to someone, nothing means to you, no purpose, poverty, nightmares, tensions with people, bad music.

 - birth control, contraception, no intimacy with husband, abortion, sexually transmitted disease, prostitutes, prostitution, dated.

 - hanging around the wrong crowd, fantasies of revenge/self glory/power.

 - shoplifting, pleaser to people, stole money

 - cheating in school, smoking, it was cool

 - conflict between father’s values & his own sexuality, tried to obey all rules, hit the father/mother, verbal fights with a parent.

 - rebellious at father, immature, angry, I was smart not getting caught, “that’s what everyone did”.

 - confused: what to do? who am I? what purpose?

 - life terrible at home, attacked by someone, I was king: I had an apartment, money, women,...

 - physically abused, no job, not ready to sober up.

 - no meaning in life, peer pressure to fight back, moving to a different town.

 - sterilized.

 - lived outside house, kicked out of the house, didn’t know where to go

 - physical problems, a lot of pain

 - loss of a father/mother/aunt, uncle.

 - drugs helped to forget the pain

 - looking for a father figure to make him powerful, to enhance his sexual identity

 - a man touched him saying, “this is gonna help you in your sexual life.

 - from model conservative to model liberal (extremes)

 - I would tell people to follow rules

 - I was the one to pick on, beaten up by friends.

 Wants:

 - I don’t want to do anything wrong, I want to be good. If I do something wrong they wouldn’t love me.

 - I want to take all the bad qualities of the parents.

 - I needed to protect myself

 - I didn’t want them to discover who I was because of the problems I had

 -I want manhood, to be a man, wanted men to accept me

 - I want to please myself

 Feels:

 - felt God was punishing me

 - felt broken

 - felt betrayed, emptiness, void, dirty, spiritually dying, bankrupt, nothing makes sense, boring

 - felt presence of evil so I started to read the Bible

 - felt I was fat, loneliness, alienated

 - felt pity for the abuser so he touched him.

 Fears:

 - fear of rejection, fear wanting to defend self, fears of being a loser, fear of being homosexual, fear of not functioning as a father or uncle, afraid to ask people what they mean, afraid to confront the reality that my inner garden was burnt.

 God:

 - scrupulosity: “Am I sinning or not?”

 - lost faith, atheist, agnostic

 - “religious are superstitious.”

 - she started reaching out to God

 - how do you explain existence? sacrificial love?

 - only the priest can help me. I tried everything. I need a priest.

 - why not uplifted rather than down?

 - not connected with God, quit going to Church completely, mad at God: “I don’t believe in you anymore.”

 - “God you have to help me.”

 - looking for a miracle, where is it?

 - God is not going to do anything to me.

 Voices:

 - “you weren’t planned, that was a mistake.”

 - I can never make it in the world.

 - I can never be successful.

 - “Why are you Christian?”

 - nightmares (clean kill, sniper, moving bodies.

 Relationships:

 - tension with people, she pounds on his chest, he grabs her.

 - love from one side

 - couldn’t reach my father’s standard

 - couldn’t let people come into my life. I was distant.

 - huge wall between me & him/her, no communication.

 - absolute relief & delight

 - I can hurt them by cheating before they hurt me (I was in control).

 Dreams:

 - wanting to break the wall without hurting myself.

 What kind of memories do you have?

 - Positive: desires, dreams, events, good voices...

 - Negative: Abuse, peer pressure, conflicts, loss, shocking events, nightmares, bad voices, stealing, made fun of, illness, fears, surgery, masturbation, move, angry with father...

Voices from Egypt:

 You are unworthy, You are dirty, you are a failure

 What was your goal?

 - success, pleasure, fame

 Bad experiences:

 - being hit by someone, being abused by someone, learned bad habits from someone, stealing, fight with someone, war, moving from one place to another, natural disaster (hurricane or tornadoes), sickness, loss of a parent, relative, friend

Fears & Dreams:

 - fear of death, fear of losing a parent, fear of being abandoned.

In order to get out of this stage,

 1- you need to hit the bottom:

    Depression,

    Sickness,

    breaking up relationship,

    tired,

    empty,

    questions without answers,

    jail,

    divorce

    incident

 2- you need to hear something about Jesus that strikes you:

 - from TV

 - from radio

 - from Internet

 - from a friend

 - from a relative

 - from a priest

 Why don’t you ask the Lord?

 why don’t you go to Church?

 Jesus is your Savior

 3- you need to cry out to God:  

 - Lord, you got to help me.

 - Jesus help me

 - If you are alive, save me.

 - I hit the bottom. I need your help.

 - Please, take me out

 - I am scared, help me

 - I am suicidal. I want to reach out to God

 I can’t follow my own way. Guide me Lord

 I have many questions. I need answers Lord.

 I need a miracle. Lord, where are you?

 The crying out at the end of Egypt’s period will lead you to the next stage: “The Burning Bush”.

First Stage: The Fathers (Genesis 17:1-8)

Theme: The LORD creates you.

The LORD appeared to the Fathers and asked them to walk in His presence and to be blameless. He talked to Abraham saying: “Between you and me I will establish my covenant, and I will multiply you exceedingly. My covenant with you is this: you are to become the father of a host of nations. I will render you exceedingly fertile; I will make nations of you; kings shall stem from you. I will maintain my covenant with you and your descendants after you throughout the ages as an everlasting pact, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you. I will give to you and to your descendants after you the land in which you are now staying and I will be their God.

Let us meditate on when we were children; how we experienced the presence of God in our lives and how the LORD spoke to our ancestors through the circumstances of their lives.

Let us meditate on what we heard about the LORD from the mouths of adults.

Let us pray for all children who live in wars, struggles, abuse, poverty, illness, and injustice. Protect them, O LORD, with your grace and lead them to your salvation.

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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment of your conception to the moment you place the world and its passions as a priority to God.

 Most people experience the end of “the Fathers” stage at the beginning of adolescence.

 This stage takes between 10 and 15 years.

 It is an important stage, in which you not only observe the beauty of creation, but also the consequences of original sin in the world (conflicts, wars, envy, rivalry,...). You not only hear constructive voices, but also destructive ones.

 In this stage, you may have a simple childhood or a troubled one (experience of loss, abuse, neglect...).

 In this stage you may hear about God from your parents, grandparents, TV, Radio, a priest or a nun, or you may hear nothing about Him.

 In all cases, this stage remains important because it holds the key of “what are the things (wounds, weaknesses, needs) that will lead you to the next stage?” and “Who is this God  you will cry out to later on?”

 In this stage you may experience powerful dreams or events whose meaning remains unfolded until you reach the 8th stage in this journey.

 The negative experiences may overshadow your whole life until you reach the 8th stage. In the 8th stage, the negative experiences you had in “the Fathers” stage will fade away and the powerful experiences or voices or figures you met in the first stage will come to the surface to make “the Fathers” stage a blessing.

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 Who was your father/mother?

 - Alcoholic, ill, weak, abusive (hit brother, anger in the house, violent, verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually), separated (never slept in bed together, verbal fights, did not know how to relate, fought, argued a lot, divorce), good person, honest, smart, funny, sarcastic, pious, sweet, perfectionist, sense of humor, very much critical, teacher, busy, came home late, worked a lot, hard worker, workaholic, good provider, protective, very controlling, busy providing a living, hidden life, not there, never there, negative, low self image, kept things, scared, manic depressive, outspoken, prejudice, cold, strict, distant, harsh, strict catholic, rough with me, no emotions, no hugging, no kissing, never affectionate, no touching, no talks, paranoid (thinks he’s been followed), gives orders, no relationship, never connected with me, never felt love from him/her, well financially, did not spoil me with a lot of material things, powerful, remote, volatile, known, respected, gentle, successful, easy going, holy, saint, strong, silent, dominant, stayed home, becomes independent, disturbed, mean, no conversation, my father/mother favored me, never expressed his love for me, anxious, mentally ill, addict, good example, nurturing.

 Who were you?

 A loner. Stubborn. Rebellious. Shy. Quiet.

 Afraid to approach the father/the mother.

 Unable to sleep. Crying every night. Tried to please others.

 Embarrassment. Shame. Discouraged at school. Good student. Repeated class. No good grades. Orphan. Older. Younger. Failed at school.

 Masturbation. Sick as a child. Stupid. Not close to mother. Troublemaker. Hard time at school.

 I was on my own. I was a mistake. Extrovert. Introvert. Nobody understood me. Never assertive because I wanted peace in family. I would choose the cheapest because the parents couldn’t afford it.

 Terrified of a parent. A lot of fantasies. Identity problems. Horrible secret.

 Events

 War, riots, surgery, fell down the stairs, doctor’s play, saved many times, social rejection, lost in the crowd, saw rape, peer pressure, moving to a different town, being hit by someone, being abused by someone, learned bad habits from someone, stealing, fight with someone,  natural disaster (hurricane or tornadoes), sickness, loss of a parent, relative, friend, shocking events, nightmares, made fun of.

 Wants/Needs

 I wanted to prove that what I’ve heard or seen was wrong. I wanted to compensate the father/mother. I want my father/mother to be interested in me. I want my father/mother to be looking at me. I want to be a saint, martyr. I want obedience. I want to be bad to be cool. I want to achieve the least I can. I did not want to be a loser. I did not want to feel alone. I want to be a wife/husband, a mother/father. I want to be pure, clean. I want to be a priest/nun. I want to love God. I want to grow quickly.

 I needed attention. I needed a father/mother. I needed love. I needed someone to watch me. I needed approval.

 Feelings

 I felt dirty, unworthy, alone, less mature, outside, inferior, not equal.

 I had fears of being rejected, caught. I had fears of girls, boys.

 “No one love me.” “I shouldn’t be here.”

 I felt responsible for the father/mother + for their feelings.

 I felt sad, sorrowful, not free, ugly, outcast, overweight, insecure, bad.

 I felt the world is there for me to take advantage of.

 Fears & Dreams:

 - fear of death, fear of losing a parent, fear of being abandoned

 - Dream about marriage, military, etc...

 God & Religion

 God was scary, a punisher. God was someone who would punish me if I do wrong, distant. Daily Mass, holy communion. Parents taught me spiritual lessons. God love me and my life is going towards Him. “Don’t you realize that the Lord is in Holy Communion?” “We’re gonna have to trust the Lord now.” Always priests & nuns are around the family. Reverence towards God. “Lord I don’t know what I am doing. Why don’t you come with me?” Talked to God when alone.

 Voices from the Fathers: (good/bad)

 Undisciplined, unsupervised, treat what they say as a noise, “you’re wrong”, “you will never succeed.”

 The Lord is in the Eucharist, Jesus loves you, treat the voices that criticize you as wind that comes and goes.

 People you admired:

 - a priest, a nun, a teacher.