Monday, February 2, 2009

First Stage: The Fathers (Genesis 17:1-8)


Theme: The LORD creates you.




The LORD appeared to the Fathers and asked them to walk in His presence and to be blameless. He talked to Abraham saying: “Between you and me I will establish my covenant, and I will multiply you exceedingly. My covenant with you is this: you are to become the father of a host of nations. I will render you exceedingly fertile; I will make nations of you; kings shall stem from you. I will maintain my covenant with you and your descendants after you throughout the ages as an everlasting pact, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you. I will give to you and to your descendants after you the land in which you are now staying and I will be their God.

Let us meditate on when we were children; how we experienced the presence of God in our lives and how the LORD spoke to our ancestors through the circumstances of their lives.

Let us meditate on what we heard about the LORD from the mouths of adults.

Let us pray for all children who live in wars, struggles, abuse, poverty, illness, and injustice. Protect them, O LORD, with your grace and lead them to your salvation.

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For Spiritual Direction
This stage goes from the moment of your conception to the moment you place the world and its passions as a priority to God.
 Most people experience the end of “the Fathers” stage at the beginning of adolescence.
 This stage takes between 10 and 15 years.
 It is an important stage, in which you not only observe the beauty of creation, but also the consequences of original sin in the world (conflicts, wars, envy, rivalry,...). You not only hear constructive voices, but also destructive ones.
 In this stage, you may have a simple childhood or a troubled one (experience of loss, abuse, neglect...).
 In this stage you may hear about God from your parents, grandparents, TV, Radio, a priest or a nun, or you may hear nothing about Him.
 In all cases, this stage remains important because it holds the key of “what are the things (wounds, weaknesses, needs) that will lead you to the next stage?” and “Who is this God  you will cry out to later on?”
 In this stage you may experience powerful dreams or events whose meaning remains unfolded until you reach the 8th stage in this journey.
 The negative experiences may overshadow your whole life until you reach the 8th stage. In the 8th stage, the negative experiences you had in “the Fathers” stage will fade away and the powerful experiences or voices or figures you met in the first stage will come to the surface to make “the Fathers” stage a blessing.
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 Who was your father/mother?
 - Alcoholic, ill, weak, abusive (hit brother, anger in the house, violent, verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually), separated (never slept in bed together, verbal fights, did not know how to relate, fought, argued a lot, divorce), good person, honest, smart, funny, sarcastic, pious, sweet, perfectionist, sense of humor, very much critical, teacher, busy, came home late, worked a lot, hard worker, workaholic, good provider, protective, very controlling, busy providing a living, hidden life, not there, never there, negative, low self image, kept things, scared, manic depressive, outspoken, prejudice, cold, strict, distant, harsh, strict catholic, rough with me, no emotions, no hugging, no kissing, never affectionate, no touching, no talks, paranoid (thinks he’s been followed), gives orders, no relationship, never connected with me, never felt love from him/her, well financially, did not spoil me with a lot of material things, powerful, remote, volatile, known, respected, gentle, successful, easy going, holy, saint, strong, silent, dominant, stayed home, becomes independent, disturbed, mean, no conversation, my father/mother favored me, never expressed his love for me, anxious, mentally ill, addict, good example, nurturing.

 Who were you?
 A loner. Stubborn. Rebellious. Shy. Quiet.
 Afraid to approach the father/the mother.
 Unable to sleep. Crying every night. Tried to please others.
 Embarrassment. Shame. Discouraged at school. Good student. Repeated class. No good grades. Orphan. Older. Younger. Failed at school.
 Masturbation. Sick as a child. Stupid. Not close to mother. Troublemaker. Hard time at school.
 I was on my own. I was a mistake. Extrovert. Introvert. Nobody understood me. Never assertive because I wanted peace in family. I would choose the cheapest because the parents couldn’t afford it.
 Terrified of a parent. A lot of fantasies. Identity problems. Horrible secret.

 Events
 War, riots, surgery, fell down the stairs, doctor’s play, saved many times, social rejection, lost in the crowd, saw rape, peer pressure, moving to a different town, being hit by someone, being abused by someone, learned bad habits from someone, stealing, fight with someone,  natural disaster (hurricane or tornadoes), sickness, loss of a parent, relative, friend, shocking events, nightmares, made fun of.

 Wants/Needs
 I wanted to prove that what I’ve heard or seen was wrong. I wanted to compensate the father/mother. I want my father/mother to be interested in me. I want my father/mother to be looking at me. I want to be a saint, martyr. I want obedience. I want to be bad to be cool. I want to achieve the least I can. I did not want to be a loser. I did not want to feel alone. I want to be a wife/husband, a mother/father. I want to be pure, clean. I want to be a priest/nun. I want to love God. I want to grow quickly.
 I needed attention. I needed a father/mother. I needed love. I needed someone to watch me. I needed approval.

 Feelings
 I felt dirty, unworthy, alone, less mature, outside, inferior, not equal.
 I had fears of being rejected, caught. I had fears of girls, boys.
 “No one love me.” “I shouldn’t be here.”
 I felt responsible for the father/mother + for their feelings.
 I felt sad, sorrowful, not free, ugly, outcast, overweight, insecure, bad.
 I felt the world is there for me to take advantage of.

 Fears & Dreams:
 - fear of death, fear of losing a parent, fear of being abandoned
 - Dream about marriage, military, etc...

 God & Religion
 God was scary, a punisher. God was someone who would punish me if I do wrong, distant. Daily Mass, holy communion. Parents taught me spiritual lessons. God love me and my life is going towards Him. “Don’t you realize that the Lord is in Holy Communion?” “We’re gonna have to trust the Lord now.” Always priests & nuns are around the family. Reverence towards God. “Lord I don’t know what I am doing. Why don’t you come with me?” Talked to God when alone.

 Voices from the Fathers: (good/bad)
 Undisciplined, unsupervised, treat what they say as a noise, “you’re wrong”, “you will never succeed.”
 The Lord is in the Eucharist, Jesus loves you, treat the voices that criticize you as wind that comes and goes.

 People you admired:
 - a priest, a nun, a teacher.


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