Sixth Stage: Mount Sinai (Exodus 19-20, 32)

Theme: The LORD gives you His Commandments.

They came to the desert of Sinai. They were encamped in front of the mountain. The Lord spoke and gave them the Ten Commandments. The people of God saw peals of thunder and lightning, and a heavy cloud over the mountain, and a very loud trumpet blast. All the people in the camp trembled. When they became aware of Moses' delay in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said to him, "Come, make us a god who will be our leader; as for the man Moses who brought us out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has happened to him."
All the people took off their earrings and brought them to Aaron. They made a golden calf and they cried out, "This is your God, O Israel, who brought you out of the land of Egypt."

As Moses drew near the camp, he saw the calf and the dancing. With that, Moses' wrath flared up, so that he fused the calf in the fire and then ground it down to powder, which he scattered on the water and made the people drink. Moses said to them: “You have committed a grave sin.” Then, he said to the LORD: “I cannot carry all this people by myself, for they are too heavy for me.”

Then the LORD said to Moses, "Assemble for me seventy of the elders of Israel. They may share the burden of the people with you. You will then not have to bear it by yourself.

Let us meditate on when we experienced our own betrayal of the LORD, who brought us out of slavery; how we could not fight anymore by ourselves; how we were overburdened and how we realized our need for the Savior.

Let us pray for all those tempted by betrayals and sins, so that we may be merciful to them and console them.

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For Spiritual Direction

This stage goes from the moment you betray your God to the moment you surrender to God.

 The length of this stage depends from one person to another. Some people experience Mount Sinai for more than 5 years others for less than one year. All people experience the end of “Mount Sinai” stage at the moment they surrender to God.

 In this stage, you experience your own betrayal. You began to search for the foundation on which you can build your spiritual life. The soul finds no other way than to surrender to God.

  Before Betrayal:

 I can’t approach the Lord unless I become a man.

 Intense conflict with wife/husband.

 I wasn’t hearing the Lord.

 I couldn’t feel direction coming from the Lord.

 I didn’t surrender to God because I had a fear he would ask me more than I could bear.

 Felt numb, like I was in a desert.

 Man experiences betrayals:

 hard temptations

 Infatuation, erotic fantasies, guilt, obsession about someone

 I felt betrayed: the husband/wife cheated on me

 I was devastated by the betrayal

 I surrendered to fantasies

 Betrayed the Lord.

 Feel manipulated.

 After Betrayal:

 I want to escape.

 I feel big failure.

 Mourning, grieving, shame.

 Feel ready to die.

 Get me out of the desert or kill me.

 I feel dead because I am in a tunnel.

 I am messed up emotionally.

 I want to end up my life. It’s hell.

 I gave up trying to be holy.

 I need someone to shoot me.

 Lost everything.

 I saw my sins (pride, not asking people for help).

 humbling, devastating experience.

 what have I done?

 Have I done something terrible?

 I need freedom from past.

 He’s calling me to do something.

 I need to surrender Lord.

 I am trying to re-establish the Lord in the center of my life”

 “I thought I was the problem”

 daily rosary

 loneliness

 What do you want God?

 Get out of religious life.

 My God, why have you abandoned me?

 Where God was?

 What was God doing?

 Had I sinned?

 I wonder why things happened?

 I feel I have a curse on me.

 Sort of numb inside.

 Fearful that others would find out that I am a failure.

 I need to get out of here.

 My life will be short.

 Mad at God.

 My mind is too small to solve this problem.

 Fear of being vulnerable to others.

 Man searches & wait for Christ:

 Am I wasting my gifts? or am I following God’s will?

 Am I losing my vocation? or am I doing what God wants?

 I thought I could do it on my own.

 I want to follow Jesus but I don’t know where.

 Where do I fit in?

 What do I do with my gifts?

 Why didn’t I have better training in life?

 I need to talk to a logical man.

 I need to talk to a calm man.

 Gave up being a man.

 I want to give Jesus back his throne in my life.

 Decision to surrender to Jesus.

 I need to surrender: my business, my sex life, my wife, ...

 I want to surrender because what can I offer the Lord?

 Lord, do what you want.

I can't fight alone anymore.

 Meditations: Exodus chapter 19, 20, 32, 33, 34

 Surrendering to God at the end of “Mount Sinai” period will lead you to the next stage: “Conversion”.